Tuesday, August 20, 2019

MOM LIFE :: How we got Lucas potty trained

When it came time to try to get Lucas potty trained I thought we would be pros at it. After all, Lucas is our second kid and I kind of expected potty training the second time around would be a breeze.  Somehow I had this idea that boys were easier than girls too?  I was in for a surprise.

Before we got started on our potty training journey, we decided that we would not do pull-ups this second time around.  They just don't do the job when your kids are not fully compliant with the potty schedule and we wanted to save ourselves the hassle.  We also decided that we would try to potty train on the toilet right away with a kid toilet seat.  A friend of ours from his gym class had great success with it so we decided to try.   

Lucas showed no interest at all in potty training from the get go.  Yes he knew when he was going in his diaper very early on but had no inclination to try the toilet.  We still talked about it, read all the books, asked him if he wanted to go...

He was not into it.  I thought that maybe the toilet seat was too scary so we broke down and bought a little potty.  He was into it at the store but as soon as it was set up at home he wanted nothing to do with it.  It was back to square one.  

Right around this time, potty training started at school.  The teachers would ask Lucas if he wanted to use the potty,and, pretty soon, he was going for them.  I was blown away. 

If he was going at school, he had to be ready.  So why the lack of interest at home?  We decided to give the little potty another round and purchased a popular one that I see on Instagram a lot.  He did not want it out of the bathroom right away but he had no interest in it.  So was this progress?

At this point, Lucas was happily going to the toilet at school for number 1 and almost out of diapers during the day.  And yet no progress at home.  We tried potty training books, reward charts, stickers, small prices, candy...You name it, we tried it!  And still no progress.  Were we pressing him to go?  No.  We would ask him if he wanted to go, just like they were doing at school.  

His teachers were very kind all along the way and kept reminding us that he would get there on his own tempo.  As summer started, we regressed and went back into diapers full-time.  

We decided not to make a big deal out of it but still kept asking him if he wanted to use the potty several times a day.  We even tried a potty watch from Target that would play music every 20 minutes to remind him to go.  Lucas would dance to the music instead.  

Midsummer we even tried for a couple of days that "cold turkey" method that has been successful for so many of you but it didn't work for us.  I realized that it meant having my 8 year old at home full-time disgruntled with my non-compliant toddler and decided to just stop.  After all, he was perfectly happy going in his underwear and I did not see an end to it.  

Things did change around though when I least expected it.  I was at the store one Friday doing our usual grocery run.  When I got to the diaper aisle, I honestly didn't know what to do.  With school starting soon, I dreaded seeing his teachers and sharing that all the progress they made was lost over the summer.  At that point, I decided that I would only purchase a small pack of diapers. That. Was. That.  One way or another this was happening, even if it meant being home bound the last three weeks of vacation.  

I got home and when Lucas started to help me unpack (our weekly ritual) he noticed the small pack of diapers.  He looked at them and said "that a small bag of diapies Mommy".  I told him in the most casual way I could muster that it was the last pack we were buying.  He looked at me and went "oh".  

The next day, he went to karate class with Nahia with no diaper.  He did not try before class so part of me dreaded an accident during class.  We had none.  When we came home, he told me he had to go to the bathroom and he did, with no complaints or fuss.  My big boy!  

It's been smooth sailing since that first day.  Not one accident!  We kind of kicked the diapers to the side lines in the most casual of ways.  No tears, in his own terms, and luckily before school started.  We are still using the kid potty and I'm totally okay with that.  I'm baffled that he tells me when he has to go but he would only go at school when the teachers would ask if he wanted to go.  I think he's been ready for a while...

I'm sharing this because maybe you are experiencing something similar too.  In this day and age, there seems to be a time frame for everything with our kids and many a times we fall into our comparison game.  Hang in there Mama!  Our experience with Lucas was most definitely unique and it has taught me a thing or two about patience, consistency and just understanding.

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